on sunday morning , in the watersons house there lived Gumball and Darwin and they was watching television in the living room .They saw a game in the video game show it cost £1000 and the game was called spyro the dragon game  .They didn’t care so they changed the channel but they saw a awsome channel it was talking about a game called smash’em , mash’em so they ranned to the video game shop . As fast as lightning they ranned and ranned as they think they could make it but they didn’t make it so they layed down on the floor as they were near it was solded out .

One Response to “100wc”
  1. Hello Charnel,

    A game for £1000? “Spyro the Dragon” would have to be a very impressive game to cost as much as that. I suspect “Smash’em, Mash’em” must be cheaper and have better game play considering the excitement of Gumball and Darwin as they ran to the video game shop. Maybe if the PlayStation people dropped the price, they’d sell more “Spyro the Dragon” games.

    I can see you have used interesting words and connectives to build your sentences. You also made use of a simile in this sentence…
    As fast as lightning they ran and ran as they thought they could make it but they didn’t make it.
    Well done.

    There were a number of errors you missed when editing your story. I think it was probably because you were keen to share your story. I know I have to reread my writing more than once to find my errors.

    I hope you enjoy your holidays and continue entering the 100WC in your new school year. Writing allows us to share our imagination with the world.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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